How I’m learning to appreciate beauty in my closet
I'm a Libra. Libras love beauty.
I've been trying to love the beauty in my closet right now, in order to avoid getting bogged down with not knowing what to wear, and buying clothes in order to usher in new energy - new beauty.
The trick is finding energy from what already exists.
I recently had this deep moment of dissatisfaction with my closet, which inspired these thoughts. The moment was likely prompted by other elements at play (pent up energy, getting called for jury duty), but evolved into the age-old frustration; I have nothing to wear.
I identify with my clothes. They are my armor. My personal style changes constantly because my mood and vibe is usually changing. Each time I put on an outfit, I put on a new soul. Virginia Woolf said that.
Not knowing what to wear is like not knowing who I want to be. It is, quite seriously for me, an identity crisis.
Slowing down to focus on beauty has helped me. This time, I turned away from my closet. I took a literal step back. I looked at the row of shirts, piles of jeans, and stash of sweaters as a whole, and then picked up individual pieces and just felt them. I felt the fabric and tried to understand how I could make something unique with what felt stale. I tried to appreciate the beauty of good stitching, thoughtful color palettes, and quality denim. I tried to remember that real creativity doesn't come from buying new things all the time, but from making something awesome with what you have.
It worked. I got dressed slowly, trying on different variations of what felt right and began to feel calmer.
I saw the details in my clothes, and I put each piece on thinking about that stitching on the back pocket of my jeans, those buttons at a cuff, that drape of a sleeve. While my outfit may have looked cobbled, I carried in my mind the beauty in those details. I felt proud of myself for taking more time to sit and try harder, instead of running away in leggings and a sports bra to freepeople.com (my Kryptonite of the moment).
I think a lot of what we consume day-to-day is made to make us feel like we're not enough. Like our lives aren't enough. This is obvious and has been stated exhaustively but I think it bears repeating. TikTok has a "Shop" tab. So does Instagram.
I love supporting designers and I LOVE to shop. I'm excellent at it and terrible at it. I do think, however, that maybe I lose appreciation of what I have a bit too easily. When we lose appreciation, we lose creativity. That's when we lose what makes us human.
And by the way, that cobbled outfit rescued my soul that day.